Hello Reader,
If you are reading this then you have been chosen as an agent for the fastest growing agency in the history of agencies — The Awesome Kid Agency (AKA: AKA).
This is not an arts and craft book as my sister says, “cute” as my mom says, or “educational” as my dad says. It is a book filled with the latest and greatest spy technology. DO NOT LET THIS FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS! After a few items from the dollar store you will have everything you need to do anything you want.
If there is a zombie apocalypse, you will be prepared. Wonder if your sister or brother ever stole from you, now you’ll know. Think your parents are honest when they say they were sweet little angels as kids. Now ask them WITH A LIE DETECTOR! Proceed with caution when building these gadgets. All agents need to follow these rules, or they risk being exiled from the agency.
1. Only use batteries for power – If you take anything apart that has a plug on it, cut the plug first. This will ensure that no other agent will sabotage your creation and that you will be safe. There’s a lot of electricity in wall outlets—enough to kill. If you work with just batteries you will be able to safely experiment.
2. If it is sharp, call for back up – All agents are part of a team. If you need to use anything that is sharp while making your gadgets, do it with adult permission and supervision. Not to mention, having one less finger, toe, eye, or head, will severely affect your performance in the field. This includes using a saw, knife, pliers, and razor blades.
3. Protect your assets – Use protective goggles. You don’t want to be known as “One-Eyed (Insert Your Name Here).” I have added warnings to each set of instructions as to which of these imperative procedures need to be followed.
My agency (and parents) has asked me to state the following as clearly as possible: When building gadgets, remember that the unexpected can happen! All builders should understand that neither the author, the publisher, host, nor the bookseller can or will guarantee your safety. When you try these projects described here, you do so at your own risk.
I also have added a scale system using my favorite meat: ham. If a project is ranked as one ham, it is easy and you should have no problems making it. If a project is ranked as three hams, it might take some time, you might mess up a few times, and you will need help from an adult. NEVER GIVE UP!
I can not warn you enough. Guard this book with your life. Our school bully, Zinc, almost beat me up in my attempt to rescue it. I repeat: guard this book with your life. When a classmate asks, “Hey, what are you reading?” You turn to that person and say, “Mind your own business, bologna brain,” run out of the room, and never return to your hometown again. This is not a book; it is a lifestyle.
Godspeed,
If you are reading this then you have been chosen as an agent for the fastest growing agency in the history of agencies — The Awesome Kid Agency (AKA: AKA).
This is not an arts and craft book as my sister says, “cute” as my mom says, or “educational” as my dad says. It is a book filled with the latest and greatest spy technology. DO NOT LET THIS FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS! After a few items from the dollar store you will have everything you need to do anything you want.
If there is a zombie apocalypse, you will be prepared. Wonder if your sister or brother ever stole from you, now you’ll know. Think your parents are honest when they say they were sweet little angels as kids. Now ask them WITH A LIE DETECTOR! Proceed with caution when building these gadgets. All agents need to follow these rules, or they risk being exiled from the agency.
1. Only use batteries for power – If you take anything apart that has a plug on it, cut the plug first. This will ensure that no other agent will sabotage your creation and that you will be safe. There’s a lot of electricity in wall outlets—enough to kill. If you work with just batteries you will be able to safely experiment.
2. If it is sharp, call for back up – All agents are part of a team. If you need to use anything that is sharp while making your gadgets, do it with adult permission and supervision. Not to mention, having one less finger, toe, eye, or head, will severely affect your performance in the field. This includes using a saw, knife, pliers, and razor blades.
3. Protect your assets – Use protective goggles. You don’t want to be known as “One-Eyed (Insert Your Name Here).” I have added warnings to each set of instructions as to which of these imperative procedures need to be followed.
My agency (and parents) has asked me to state the following as clearly as possible: When building gadgets, remember that the unexpected can happen! All builders should understand that neither the author, the publisher, host, nor the bookseller can or will guarantee your safety. When you try these projects described here, you do so at your own risk.
I also have added a scale system using my favorite meat: ham. If a project is ranked as one ham, it is easy and you should have no problems making it. If a project is ranked as three hams, it might take some time, you might mess up a few times, and you will need help from an adult. NEVER GIVE UP!
I can not warn you enough. Guard this book with your life. Our school bully, Zinc, almost beat me up in my attempt to rescue it. I repeat: guard this book with your life. When a classmate asks, “Hey, what are you reading?” You turn to that person and say, “Mind your own business, bologna brain,” run out of the room, and never return to your hometown again. This is not a book; it is a lifestyle.
Godspeed,
Dewey “Mac” McClain I
CODE NAME: HAM HOCK
CODE NAME: HAM HOCK
